Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
