You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
