no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
