I'm laying in your front yard are you home
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
