If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
