There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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