Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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