I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
