it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
