Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
