Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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