brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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