Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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