We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
