Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
