Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
