When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
dude. I can hear the air.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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