In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
