R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
