I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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