Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
