First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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