So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
