So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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