dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
