You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
