So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
