don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
