i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
