a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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