You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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