We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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