Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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