Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
