Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
