I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
