Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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