Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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