bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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