Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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