Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
