Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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