omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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