Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
