You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
