Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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