it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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