They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
