they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Randomize
