Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
