Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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