Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize